Prelude to "I once briefly dated a man who was also dating a vampire stripper" or "That time I moved into the dorms a week early before my freshman year"

Before college started I came to IU a month early for a program where incoming students can take a 3 credit hour class in 3 weeks to get acclimated to the campus and college life.  Otherwise known as the reason frat boys move back 4 weeks early. But that is a story for another time.

This program ended a week before classes started, so everyone in it was permitted to move into their permanent dorms a week early. This terrified me. Going from a dorm full of kids my age and in my exact situation to an empty dorm building to hang out alone was not my favorite.  Somehow between panic attacks and calling my mom to see if she missed me enough to want me to come home for a week (nope) I made it to Read, my new home.

Once there I was quickly comforted by the fact that I now lived in one of four of the huge rooms  (no idea why) every floor had with a full bathroom and secret 10 foot hallway to be shared with just one other room. This dorm is shaped like an X and we were in the hub, aka the middle of the X. My roommate, suitemates and I would come to be referred to affectionately [and not so affectionately] as the hub girls.

Anyways, being in the middle of the X my window was angled toward the guy's hub room on another leg of the X. Low and behold there was life in there. I was not alone! This is becoming the exact opposite of the desolate sadness I imagined this dorm to behold!

Almost simultaneously with this discovery I also discovered Dilo moving in to the room attached to mine. She was moving in early because her parents had high anxiety about her moving all the way to Indiana from the East Coast, and they would like to get her extremely settled in. Her mom is part Martha Stewart, and was making sure her daughter was going to be comfortable. She ensured this with lots and lots and lots of things with lots and lots and lots of color. And the ever important lifetime supply of Rice-A-Roni. If it weren't for Mrs. Dilo, and the McDonald's in our basement that took meal points, and the Hoosier cafe on the main floor, and the cafeteria also inside our building, and the food court in the next dorm over, we would have starved.

It's like they didn't even want me to go to class. Freedom, boys, tons of food that is terrible for me, my discovery of alcohol and its ability to make life worthwhile, AND a giant room with a secret hallway/personal bathroom combo pack. Not to mention randomly assigning me people who remain on my list of my absolute favorite people in the world.

I'm surprised I didn't get the plague just to even this out.

Ok, back to the story.  Remember when I said in the Eigenmann sign post that Dilo didn't like me for a while? It was because of my first impression. The meeting went something (not word for word) like this:

Me: Hiiiiiii! I'm Tiffi! Yay, I'm so happy there are people here! I thought I'd be all alone.

Dilo: Hi. *uncomfortable stance*

Dilo's Mom: HELLO TIFFI! NICE TO MEET YOU! WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE SO EARLY?! WHERE IS YOUR FAMILY! YOU ARE SO BUBBLY!

Me:  I KNOW! I was part of IFS, I'm here alone, I was scared but there are boys in the window! Wow, you have a lot of stuff!

Dilo's Mom: WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEGAN SHOPPING YET! WHAT COLORS DO YOU LIKE? YOU NEED A SHOWER CURTAIN! YOU SHOULD YELL AT THE BOYS IN THE WINDOW!

Me: *also a little overwhelmed now, but still more excited than not* Yes! I should!

Dilo: *silently soaking this all in, terrified.*

Me: *I, of course, don't notice Dilo is overwhelmed.  I have yet to find the world outside of me, insead mostly focused on positive reinforcement from Mrs. Dilo.*

Dilo's Mom: Well, we have to be going, yell at those boys!

So, they took off, and little did I know were parked directly below our windows. I marched myself straight into my room, opened my window and yelled "HEY! Boy in the window! What are you doing?!" to which he responded "HEY! Girl in the window! Playing UNO! Come over!"

Dilo and family were directly under me witnessing this entire thing.  This secured my place in Mrs. Dilo's heart, and almost shut me out of Dilo's for eternity. As I said before at the time I was so completely unaware of any affect that me, my actions, my loudness, or the fact that the rest of our suitemates meeting me wearing a bikini (and all Dilo would see me in for the rest of the week) would have on anyone. Poor little overwhelmed Dilo.

To be fair it was over 90 degrees, we had no a/c, and one of the shiny new boys in the window showed me where the IU outdoor pool was and took me there daily. I was moved in and had no TV, what else to do?

Back to the boys in the window: this single transaction played a huge role in shaping my entire college career.  Inside this window was 2 boys who were good friends my freshman year, a girl who became one of my best college friends* and who introduced me to one of my best friends for my entire life (she and I also hated each other upon meeting, but it was a case of mistaken identity and only lasted one meal), and most importantly [for this story] the man whom I semi-dated who was also dating a vampire stripper.  This entire fiasco began and ended the week before classes started. He is also why I was always in a bikini and everyone hated me.


*After making her cry a lot freshman year. For some reason people who I was really mean to freshman year learned to love me anyways. Today, 9 years later, my roommate is the boy who coined the term "Hateful Tiffi" freshman year. To be fair, they were both really annoying, and always refused to leave my dorm room.