Let the blogging begin!

Alright.

Time to start my blog.

Why is it time to start my blog? Because I have not one, but 2 functioning GPSes that have just been randomly given to me in the last month, yet they are both dead because my car decided it absolutely cannot charge things anymore. I have no idea where I am. For some reason the lighter thingy has enough energy to make the chords light up to indicate that they work, but not enough to actually make things work.

Tricky bastard.

So, I am at the world's smallest Starbucks on Black Friday, sitting at the bar right next to where they are making lattes because this is where the only plug in the building happens to be located. With my GPSes (sp? You know what, I don't care) plugged into my computer.  That's right, both GPSes. I feel like a hoarder. But better a hoarder than a confused ginger lost in downtown Chicago with dead GPSes.

My computer needs plugged in because its battery also has stopped working. Nothing I have is allowed to be charged. So now not only am I the weird girl with sweatpants on and a million dead electronics all around me that are plugged into each other, but I am also front and center basically touching the poor baristas who are exhausted from all the shoppers AND annoyed that I am taking up all the counter space in the building.

To people who don't know me, this may sound extreme. To people that do know me this sort of thing is expected. In fact, this isn't even a relatively interesting situation.

Life is confusing, and I have yet to figure out how to properly work it. My instructions never came. I am incredibly resourceful, but only because I need to be to survive. In the same way that I have the reflexes of a wild cat. I can catch anything that falls without trying. Not because I am awesome, but because I am clumsy and uncoordinated and have no depth perception to speak of. So if I didn't develop amazing reflexes, I would have no things. And I like things. 

Well now that I am hopped up on enough caffeine to appease the baristas who I am basically on top of, what else can I say convince you reading my blog will turn out to be what is missing in your life? I have candy in my rickety van! 

Ok, I don't. I don't have candy. Or a van. 

Well, how about I stop while I'm ahead. The baristas look hungry anyways, so I should probably go. Because I'm not sure what species of the animal kingdom baristas belong to, or if they are friendly veggies or carnivores. I should know, because at my second job I actually am a barista, but I don't.

Alright, off i go. I will follow this with a post about an awkward hookup or something of the like.

Happy Black Friday!